Coming to grips with paternity
According to a 2018 survey conducted by the Regroupement provincial en santé et bien-être des hommes (RPSBEH) (Provincial Men’s Health and Wellness Collaborative – PMHWC), men say they are more likely to seek help if the situation they are experiencing is impacting their children. That’s how much fathers take their child’s well-being to heart, and it’s often a source of the motivation needed to seek help!
What impact will this have on my child?
No doubt you can imagine that violence leaves its mark, especially when a child is a victim. But there is also what they see and hear. You may have heard the expression “children are like sponges”? The climate at home, the way you react when you are angry, or the way you talk about their mother… there are many such examples of what may affect a child.
Patience, a quality that must be worked on!
Dads who come to Accord Mauricie often tell us how difficult it is to remain patient with their child. With the fatigue of work, the tasks at home, the communication in the couple not being so easy… And having to repeat constantly because the child does not listen! How does one stay calm…!
The process provided at Accord Mauricie does not pretend to remove all sources of stress from your life, nor will it make your child “listen” at the first word. What we invite you to do is to discover new ways of managing your emotions, without using violence.
Have you ever wondered why your child doesn’t seem to understand or listen to your requests? Or maybe you feel that he/she is trying to provoke you… that he/she is doing this “on purpose”? What we are suggesting here is that you take a moment to reflect on and explore the world of your child. He/she is in the midst of development: a period of life when one’s conception of the world, of relationships, of identity and capacity for self-control are all still being constructed.
Are your expectations still realistic? Can they be well understood by your child? By taking the time to question how your child perceives and understands the surrounding world, there is a good chance your communication will become more satisfying for both of you!
Working as a team between parents is not always easy. But that’s the challenge of co-parenting: working together to better educate! From school purchases to health care, home rules and family activities… there are many responsibilities and decisions to be made. And if the parents are separated, it is normal that communication seems more complex and requires more adaptation.
How do you feel about working with the mother of your child? Do you trust her? Are you satisfied with your agreements and communication? Is it difficult for you to compromise? When you talk to your child about her, what words do you choose? These questions invite you to look at co-parenting as an integral part of your child’s story. What mom and dad say to each other, the child has a front row seat to see, hear and feel.